The Onion and other satire w/ layers

Eight pieces of jewellery stolen from the Louvre have been found safe and sound inside the British Museum, French police have confirmed.

In a stunning triumph for willful ignorance, local man Derek Williams has once again demonstrated his unwavering commitment to believing absolutely anything that confirms what he already believes.

Donald Trump has once again been cruelly snubbed by the Nobel Peace Prize committee, despite what he insists was an “incredible” year of personal achievements in the field of “peace, which is very strong right now, the strongest peace anyone’s ever seen.”

Donald Trump has announced he’s cancelled the ceasefire in Gaza following the Nobel Committee’s decision not to award him this year’s Peace Prize.

Office worker Simon Williams has spent the morning devising cruel and unusual punishments for the utter bastard that deliberately used his coffee cup.

The US Treasury has unveiled a brand new commemorative $1 coin featuring best pals Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein to celebrate America’s 250th birthday.

A grown man has today cancelled his Netflix account, insisting the platform has gone woke because an alien character in cartoon about robots that transform into other things didn’t identify as male or female.

A man has installed a fake thermostat in the hall of his three-bed semi in the hope it will prevent his wife and children putting the heating on any time they ‘feel a bit chilly’.

President Donald Trump has moved to ban the Indiana Jones franchise from all American streaming services after being told the main protagonist is a well-known participant in anti-fascist violence.

Donald Trump’s 2013 Twitter account has launched a stinging attack on 2025 Donald Trump for allowing the government to shutdown.

Local man and self-proclaimed “alpha male” Simon Williams, 35, was today spotted scrolling through his phone to double-check what Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson, and whichever shirtless ‘manosphere coach’ just went viral on TikTok would like him to do next.

In a bold bid to reverse Labour’s record-breaking slide in the polls, Sir Keir Starmer has announced plans to dust off Tony Blair’s famously doomed digital ID scheme, the political equivalent of trying to win back your ex by reminding them of that time you cheated.

Donald Trump has condemned France’s decision to jail former President Nicolas Sarkozy, describing it as “radical Marxism of the worst kind, almost as bad as letting poor people have healthcare.”

The United States has once again demonstrated its unique talent for scientific deduction by confidently declaring there may be a link between pregnant women taking paracetamol and children developing autism, while continuing to insist that the 600-plus mass shootings a year have absolutely nothing to do with everyone owning a bloody gun.

In a bold move to counter a growing number of countries formally recognising Palestine, Israel has unveiled a giant pair of novelty glasses, complete with fake nose and moustache, stretched across the region to “avoid any further embarrassing recognition incidents.”

Senior Republicans have finally thrown their weight behind gun reform after the latest school shooting was repositioned as 520-week enforced abortions.